September 2010
61 posts
#ifihadapennyforeverytime that I’ve slayed a dragon, I would have two pennies.
Dear venues, look up “air conditioning” in the dictionary and TAKE SOME FUCKING NOTES!! Thanks. :)
#littleknownfactaboutme I was born a girl. And still am.
Time for a morning run with @thereadyset!!
August 2010
199 posts
Sooo stoked! About to start season 4 of Dexter!!!
#youknowyourearapist if you’re best advice on picking up girls is to “knock her out.”
Headed to Lawrence, KS for a day off!!! Can’t wait to wersh mah clothes!
Can’t put into words how stoked I am to see @bastreeter and @nickdown tomorrow!!!
TSA = Things Steadily Annihilated
You know what the difference between Jennifer Garner’s face and a moldy butt is? Nothing.
RT @Wallacethecat: I am an athlete. http://twitpic.com/2jfqn0
Hit that (lovely person) with a freeze pop! RT @swaaanson: There’s a diva on our flight. Get over yourself.
RT @Wallacethecat: It’s like my dad used to say, “meow.”
Want to have Wawa every day? Try having a baby.
RT @thereadyset: Myspace secret show with @christoferdrew! Shhhh! Haha http://mysp.ac/secrettrs
I spent ten minutes preparing a delicious breakfast platter, just to find out that I had NO time to eat it! Damn!!
Who’s coming to the Atlanta Six Flags show tonight??? :)
Stoked to see @callmeauburn! Show should be fun! If someone doesn’t hit me with some tequila, I will be very disappointed! :P
It’s not about where you are. It’s about how you got there.
Knick-knack, paddywhack, give @travybearr a bone.
Mornings are stoopid!
What a fun time jamming with @thereadyset! The bears on big screens added to the greatness! :P
Looking for the ultimate energy drink? Drink gasoline.
Just ordered an iced latte. Didn’t realize that I ordered the “super-duper-giganto-enormo-caffeine-death-juice.”
The singer in the dressing room next to ours is warming up by singing “woof woof woof woooooffff” over and over! Hah!!
Fast internet at a hotel?! #mindblown
I’m thinking of rocking some “bootylicious” shorts today.
Every time I step on a spider, I worry that I’m killing Toby McGuire.
So stoked to be back with @xojillelizabeth!! Not stoked about @andy_john’s gas.
One pair of cheap jeans, $20. Cut them in half, tear some holes, add bleach spots…sell them at a boutique for $180.
Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
Ever wonder why guys like boobs so much? Home is where the heart is.
My back hates planes. I need a massage!!
This is how you know @andy_john parties! http://twitpic.com/2hxhm2
Things are always on their way uphill.. ;)
You ain’t partied till you’ve partied with Rusty!!!!!
Just landed in Charlotte. Left at 11am, it’s now 7pm! What next? Another two hour flight!! Can’t wait to be back on the Earth!!!
Dear @Decaydance, please stop giving me wet dreams. My underwear would appreciate it.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
Gotta get in shape before space travel. :)
One of the top ten most beautiful places I have ever been! http://twitpic.com/2hld0i
Great to meet @MsKillaD and @barracuda808! Such nice girls! Hell of a day at the vineyard! Time for some fun in San Fran!!
Dammit! There’s a nice old lady next to me on the plane so I can’t watch Dexter!! #atleastidontlooklikeaterrorist…KEEGAN
You know you are too into sports when you have a beautiful mustache…and your name is Jessica.
Good news! @keegancantdance didn’t blow up the plane! Heyro, San Fran!
Headed to the airport! See you soon, San Francisco!! :)
All ears on board!
Epic hangouts at the Thomas Fogerty Vineyards with great people! So stoked!!
Good morning, Chicago!!